Don’t Tell Them They Are Wrong!

In general it is not too hard  to persuade others when we believe that we are right within the situation and we deploy empathy towards others. However, what do we do when we believe they are wrong, they firmly disagree, and their choice is incompatible with yours? 

Before anything else it is a good idea to find a common ground with them because this will show understanding and empathy towards people like your team, family, friends, or colleagues. 

The point here is that even if the words or actions that they say or do are clearly wrong we don’t need to tell them that they are wrong. Nobody wants to feel stupid in front of others. 

There are many ways to persuade others, but what do we do in an immediate situation where we have to tell them they are wrong?

It all starts from a simple cooperation, understanding where they are coming from, and learning why they have said or done things that way. A quick and easy way to start a heated argument is to start with combative energy and an aggressive disposition.

After setting up the table for cooperation and a state of calm you can use phrases such as:

• I don’t agree with you... (this is way better than telling them straight away they are wrong)

• You’re right about one thing... (it allows them that you acknowledge their own words and not just pointing out the wrongs)

• The study or book that I have read says… 

The tone of your voice is critical at these types of moments.

You don’t want to sound reluctant  with what you are saying because they can perceive you as someone who does not believe in what you are saying.

You can’t be too aggressive either because you don’t want to just force your own idea onto them.

This isn’t something easy to do and it will take some time and practice to get better at, but once you have mastered this there will be less arguments and misunderstanding with others.