Are You Comparing or Contrasting?

The other day, I was keeping an eye on two of my nieces. One being close to 2, and the other is under 6 months. We came out to the living room, and the show “Sid the Science Kid” was already playing on the T.V. For those who aren’t familiar with that show it’s about learning and exploration via scientific means. The episode was in progress and about half way, and right when I looked at the screen to actually pay attention to what is being said, Sid says this:

“Comparing is when we look at two things and see how they are alike.”

“Contrasting is when we look at two things and see how they are different.”

I was surprised. My response was “What did you just say Sid? Are you sharing life knowledge right now?” What I took from that, was the misuse of the word compare in regards to looking at others on social media. In the growth or self-development space there is this saying floating around that’s something like the following.

“Don’t compare your life to someone else’s highlight reel” which comes with a great intention, but it’s not the comparison that’s the problem. It’s not comparison that drives us to hyper focus on the differences that may lead us to be dissatisfied.  In that case we aren’t even comparing, we are contrasting.

Comparing is when we look at two things and see how they are alike. We resonate and draw close to what we see as similar to us. We connect and relate to those where we see similarities.

The moment we start looking at what is different, we shift into Contrasting! That is where a lot of people struggle and get caught up with two different lists. Acknowledging all that’s different. Drawing lines to separate, borders, finding reasons to disconnect, or be upset.

I think the better wording might be something like “don’t contrast to the point of bitterness, your life is your own.” Instead of “don’t compare your life to theirs”.

Consider the following, comparing can draw us in, contrasting can help us sift things apart. There is a time and place for both, and no reason to be bitter about either.

I’d like to leave you with these questions:

What areas in your life are you focusing on comparison, what’s similar, and worth drawing closer to?

What areas in your life are you focusing on contrast, what’s different, and worth separating from?

Is what you’re seeking to draw closer to familiar or new?

Is what you’re seeking to separate from familiar or new?

Are you trying to understand the whole of a situation to accept, or are you rejecting elements to resist something?